Ahhhh, We've all been there, sitting in a school cafeteria, waiting for the show to begin. Our little perfect prince or princess about to make their stage debut. I'm there with my rinky dink camera and cell phone while others around me whom I call 'Professional Parents', set up tripods with megga movie cameras atop ready to capture the perfection of their childs talent. I'm not that type of parent. My boy did sing a solo! And it's not on tape. I'm good with that and so is he. I heard him sing about eating worms while dressed as some type of bird and it's not persevered for his future wife to say 'how cute'. I gave him 2 thumbs up while he was singing, and his smile was more than enough for the memory banks. For him, it was not important that I taped it, or made his costume, or that he was the best looking bird in the 3rd grade opera. What was important for him was that I was there. Mom was there to hear her little boy sing a solo about worms.
Today, I am 53 and 2 months, and our youngest just turned 6. I did not marry until I was 42. Up to that point, I had a pretty cool life going for me. I had a 'That Girl' apartment, a slick sports car and could do what I wanted, when I wanted and how I wanted. I even had a cool job! Paris for the weekend? Done. Toddle up to San Francisco for some shopping? You betcha! Just when I was getting used to be all alone, I met my husband. 3 weeks after our 1st dance, we were engaged. A year after that, we got married. Oh, I had boyfriends before. Lots of them, too! But there was something about this tall man from Argentina that made my heart skip a bit. 10 years and 7 kids later - were still in love.
Ahhhhhh right? Oh crud, the 7 kid thing. I guess I glossed over that a bit. We came into this marriage wanting a family. He had 4 kids that he barely had a relationship with, and I had no kids at all, but wanted them. So the plan was, we'd try after we got married. But at 42 - odds were that would not happen. So, we set up a plan b and c. After 6 months or so, after we got married, we went to see the doc. He gave us 50/50 chance. And since I had already miscarried a time or two prior to seeing him, the odds were narrowing by the second. We waited another year or so before we implemented plan C. Adoption. Out the door, adoption was pretty expensive. We could afford maybe half a kid at the prices the 'non profit' agency's were asking. Not wanting half a kid, and certainly not wanting just one, we moved to Utah and became foster parents. Plan C started to work out, because within a few weeks of getting licensed (about a year process, by the way), we had our first placement -and the parents rights were being terminated. We had an excellent chance to adopt them. Bad for the parents, good for us. I won't go into details as to why this set of parents lost their parental rights, but I will say that Jail was too good a place for them. Anyway - we got our first 'placement'. 3 kids at once, all siblings and 2 were in diapers still. The youngest was 10 months, and he's the boy in the bird get up today. His sister was 11 months older. And his oldest sister just turned 7. This little instant family tossed me into mommyhood mode alpha. From one day to the next, I was responsible for 3 little ones. None even spoke english, as they came from parents who were 'undocumented' guests from Mexico. Luckily hubby is Spanish speaking, and I have picked up a few phrases and words along the way. We then learned that the birth mother was expecting another child - another boy. Would we be interested in taking him too, once he is born? Of course. So, when he was born, the authorities that be, removed him and placed him with us. You know, on paper it does not sound so great. I have puzzled over it many times if the decision of the courts was the right decision. Knowing what I know about the case, I can assure the readers that in this case, it was best for the childrens safety. There would have been a good chance that my sweet winged one who sings about worms, would not be alive had they remained with their birth parents. That accounts for 4. The other 3 arrived later and I'll talk about that later as well. Suffice to say the other 3 are from 2 different family's and equally bad situations. A blood brother and sister, and a older child who could not be placed with her siblings.
My story is a long one. It is impossible to roll it out in one blog or story. It did not start here and stop there but jutted over to this corner and went east and south and north before it went west. I look on this phase of my life as my 'second wind'. I did the career and the travel in my younger years. Now I'm doing what my peers did in their 20's and 30's and they are doing what I did in MY 20's and 30's! All those experience, I've now brought home.
Today, I watched my son sing a solo wearing a bird costume. While professional parents took video of the 3rd grade opera, I wiped my tears so no one would see how grateful I am that MY son was MY SON.
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